Pre Menstral Dysphoric Disorder. Sounds bad huh.....well it is, it is nasty, awful and I hate it. In me it manifests as rage, pure white hot uncontrollable rage, it is overwhelming, irrational, and awful.
I have it right now, that rage, I know it is irrational, yet I am powerless to stop it, I want to lash out, I am aggressive, abusive, enraged at stupid little things. This is PMDD. I am on medication for it, it has been working for years and now for the past few days it seems to be back with a vengance.
The kids are coping the brunt of the rage, I explode at stupid things, and I can;t stop or help myself from exploding. Screamming like a mental creature. I can no more fly to the moon than stop this rage. I thought it was over, I thought the meds had it under control.
I want to stab sharp things into myself, bang my head against a wall. I want to howl, scream, throw things.
I feel llike I am loosing my mind all over again
Oh poor Luna.....you do have some horrid things happen to you don't you. I'm glad I'm at the stage in my life where I'm past having that sort of thing - not that I ever did - I just got the menstrual cramps and the sads....I hope it goes swiftly for you so you can gain some control again.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you )o( BB xxx
Big hugs to you my friend xx
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