Long weekend

So its Monday, a longweekend Monday. Cold, wet, miserable Monday. Hubby up becasue he wanted to "clean this filthy house". This seems to be his mantra, said to himself, actually aimed at me. Honestly does he think I don't get he is aiming it at me. So the ususal stomping around, huffing and puffing begings. Me vaccuning the lungeroom out of guilt becasue I don;t know what else to do, the kids cleaning their rooms, which are disgustingly untidy and I have been nagging them all week to clean. The atmosphere in the house is one of walking on eggshells yet again, a cranky husband, kids cleaning when they would rather be making more mess, me trying to help and actually seeming to just get in the way. I hate days like this, I hate the inuendos, I hate being made to feel guilty, like I don;t pull my weight, and I am a lazy good for nothing hopeless housewife. then throw in the fact that he has worked hours and hours of overtime this week so we can pay bills. the cost of living has climbed really high but wages have not, especially when you are on one wage, and so living has become a real issue now. I will soon be getting rid of my mobile phine. I don;t need it, I will buy outright a $49 cheap and nasty and buy credit monthly. I think I will also have a big pagan garage sale and sell off all my beloved pagan treasures all except a few items, then should help as well. Maybe I will just go get a job and not tell anyone I have medical problems, and work untill I can no longer walk anymore. tonight is one of those nights I could just disappear, its all too hard and my heart hurts more than my physical pain.