Friday, January 14, 2011

Money, the root of all stress

So now it all starts again, money no where near enough of it for basic stuff, you know pay bills, feed the kids, blah blah blah. My girls need uniforms to start at theor new school, $400 for both of them, we don;t have it it has already cost us $12 for books, shoes, ect ect ect plus we have bills here to pay. we just have no money, its so hard on one wage, harder when I can;t work.

Hell I am all but unemployable, I am looking but when you have to have time off for blood tests and hospital visits, and when doing basic tasks leaves you feeling like you have run a huge marathon its not great.

So stress rules the house. dh is stressed, he is passive aggressive, he blames me, I spend money, so its my fault. I can't talk to him about anything becasue he just does not listen.

so my chest is tight, my heart rate is just that little faster, I worry all the time, I don't know what to do we don't even fight we just go on ignoring. Today I need to go and get some scripts filled about $80 worth, and I am not game to, not untill after I have got the girls school uniforms. Its only one of the Ad's, I have the other one so I can get by untill Tuesday.

So now I go back to living on edge always worrying, always wondering how the bills are going to be paid, always feeling guilty becasue its my fault we have no money, becasue for 2 years we have been living on one wage and it is just getting beyond impossible now. My chest hurts.

I have no idea what I am thankful for today

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2 comments:

  1. Broken DreamsJanuary 14, 2011 at 12:35 PM

    Oh Luna, I hear you! its hard isn't it? We are going through the same finance worries.. We are lucky to have family [my parents, MIL & FIL, Brother & SIL] to assist with school costs. No way could we buy all the items for Blake to go to high school. Its a shame your DH earns to much money for you to claim a disability part allowance. Hugs my friend xx

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  2. AnonymousJanuary 14, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    I hear you too Luna - we are in almost the same boat - only we don't have kids, but our mortgage is so high plus the cost of living - we have had to start selling stuff we don't really need on ebay just to survive - hubby can't get a job because of his health too...I know the feeling of hopelessness all too well.
    Luv and hugs to you sweetie!!

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