So tonight at dinner we were having a discussion about maths and me not gettin the maths of today, It turned a little heated as once again DH is always right, he soes not listen to what is bein said and he ended up stalking away from the table.
Miss 8 asked if she could speak to me in private and asked why daddy seems to be always fightin with me, I replied why don;t you ask him sweetheart becasue I really don;t know, She replied I am too scared to.
This is the second time in a week she has bought this up , last time she was crying and asking were we going to split up becasue she could'nt make the decision who she would live with it would be too hard and she was really heart broken.
now I have put up with DH little I am right temper spats for a while now, and lately it seems he is always taling to me like crap, I can;t do anything right, and he is passive aggressive most of the time. I have put this down to stress, financial becasue of the one wage thing and the fact we have no money at all, but now the kids seem to be picking up on it as well, so it is worse than I first thought.
tonight I have a headache from keeping in the anger I feel at him for his childidh behaviour, for not listening and for always having to be right and thats that full stop. For making it so that Erin is too afraid to ask him and tell him about her fears. For holding back the tears that threaten to spill any moment and not stop, I do not want to cry in front of the ids and make them feel any worse than they already do, and so holding in all this emotion is makin my head hurt big time.
Sad thing is that if I confront him later I will ust cry and cry and nothing will get resolved becasue I will be an emotional mess, totally unable to speak a damn word, unable to get mad, unable to do anything but blubber. Fuck I hate that about myself I really really do.
So what do I do FFS......riht now I feel llike ramming something sharp into my arms.
*Big Hugs* I only can suggest that you and your DH really need to sit down and have a huge talk. DH needs to listen to you, and you need to listen to DH both being calm. Men are strange creatures.. He could be acting this way out of fear for your health. [or he may not be] By both of you holding in your feelings it will only make matters worse.. like a volcano ready to explode.
ReplyDeleteYou both need to talk honestly.. whether this saves your marriage or not. If your marriage can't be saved, well isn't it better to go your separate ways? Then to be in an unhappy marriage and having unhappy kids. Now, ask yourself if one of your friends were going through this what advice would you give them? Also, when and IF you have a talk.. why don't you suggest marriage counselling. If DH doesn't want to be part of it, at least go yourself. I'm sure there are some that are covered by medicare for 6 sessions. Please remember I am just a phone call away!